Είσαι μητέρα; Αυτό το Instagram account μιας… «τέλειας μαμάς» πρέπει να το ακολουθήσεις
Η μητρότητα δικαίως θεωρείται η πιο απαιτητική και εξαντλητική αποστολή στη ζωή μιας γυναίκας, με ολοένα και περισσότερες μανούλες να ανοίγουν τα χαρτιά τους και να μιλούν για τις δυσκολίες του πιο σημαντικού ρόλου της ζωής τους.
Οι εποχές άλλαξαν, οι γυναίκες έχουν πια δεκάδες καθημερινές υποχρεώσεις και ο ερχομός ενός παιδιού αποτελεί γεγονός που μας βγάζει έξω από τα νερά μας, καθώς οι προτεραιότητές μας αλλάζουν.
Τι γίνεται, όμως, όταν ο ρόλος της μητέρας πρέπει να συνδυαστεί σωστά με αυτόν της συζύγου, της νοικοκυράς και της καριερίστας;
[babyPostAd]Τα πράγματα δυσκολεύουν πολύ, με τις γυναίκες να παραδέχονται πως οι πρώτοι μήνες με το νέο μέλος της οικογένειάς τους τις οδηγούν με μαθηματική ακρίβεια στην… κατάρρευση.
Αυτή ακριβώς την αλήθεια εκφράζει μέσω του λογαριασμού της στο Instagram η διάσημη blogger και μητέρα τριδύμων, Desiree Fortin.
Η ίδια παρουσιάζει μέσω μιας σειράς απολαυστικών αναρτήσεων την αλλαγή στη ζωή μιας γυναίκες όταν η μητρότητα της χτυπά την πόρτα, με όσες συμπάσχουν να κάνουν λόγο για ένα account που τις κάνει να χαμογελούν και να παίρνουν κουράγιο να συνεχίσουν να πασχίζουν να είναι υπέροχες μανούλες, χωρίς να ξεχάσουν και όλους τους υπόλοιπους ρόλους τους. Κάθε φωτογραφία, αποτελεί και ένα ιδιαίτερο μήνυμα το οποίο ανήκει σε μια ειδική κατηγορία.
Μερικές εξ’ αυτών είναι οι «Εξομολογήσεις μιας αγχωμένης μαμάς» και «Αλήθειες για τον γάμο».
Πώς να μην ταυτιστείς μαζί της όταν μοιάζει να μπαίνει στο μυαλό όλων μας;
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If there is anything I have learned from my mothering journey it is the value of self care!!! We need to take care of ourselves mamas. If we are not taking care of ourselves, how can we take care of our kids and do it well? As I’ve shared, the last several days have been so hard for me. I was making progress in my mental health journey this year until Charlize almost drowned earlier in this summer and since then, I feel like any progress I made is gone. It can be a really frustrating feeling. However, while I do a lot to try and manage my anxiety, one thing I’ve been really trying to be intentional about is self care. It doesn’t matter whether it means I go to the gym and sit on the couch in the waiting area, or if I put on a dress and drink coffee alone, or if I go to bed early without doing laundry, work, etc because I know I need rest-all these things are self-care and sometimes it requires more intentionality than we think. Today I encourage you to do something to treat yourself, to take care of YOU!!! Get some coffee, have some ice cream, enjoy a bubble bath-whatever it is-be intentional about doing something for you!! • • Finish the sentence: Today I will ______________ to treat myself!!! Dress: @downeaststyle Shoes: @downeaststyle Jewelry: @downeaststyle #downeaststylist #downeastbasics
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Aug 29, 2018 at 1:44pm PDT
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One of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have in my nearly 10 years of marriage is: “Charlize almost drowned.” This summer when I almost lost my daughter to drowning was a moment that changed me. I remember everything about the day-how scared I was and the intense shame I felt. Calling my husband was not easy. Fortunately, Ryan received the news in a way that didn't make me feel worse than I already did. We agreed to take Charlize to the ER. She was admitted to the hospital for pulmonary edema. She, ultimately, was fine. But this moment, was a moment that changed me, a moment that has brought on several hard conversations and questions I have had to ask Ryan and myself. Do you blame me? Do you think I am a bad Mom? Do you trust me with the triplets? These types of conversations are hard and often painful, but necessary. I truly believe if it wasn't for our 2 years of marriage therapy we wouldn't know how to effectively communicate and share really hard truths with one another. There was a time in our marriage when the only way I communicated was by yelling and in return, Ry would shut down, silent treatment style. It was not effective and only resulted in more hurt. We have learned that sometimes it is better to wait to resolve our conflicts. One of the hardest things to do is admitting when you are wrong, made mistakes, or caused hurt. It is not easy to recognize your weaknesses, but when you do I think it can really help build a foundation in your marriage. When my daughter almost drowned, I had to own the fact that it happened. I had to apologize to my husband. My heart has been in a whole new place of struggle. I had to be honest with Ryan so he can help me through this season of shame. I also had to hear his heart, his worries, and what he was feeling. We have been through some really painful seasons and some truly remarkable seasons. We utilize the tools we have been given and do our best to communicate effectively and honestly with each other. We are not always going to agree and we will hurt each other, but we are in this together. #marriagetruths101 Tee: @themomculture @lovedbyhannahandeli Shoes: @downeaststyle #downeaststylist
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Sep 8, 2018 at 11:34am PDT
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I recently read an article written by a brave Mama who lost her precious son to drowning just a couple weeks before Charlize’s near drowning accident. Her name is @nicolehughes8 and she is a courageous mama. The facts in her article were all the same facts I, too, discovered after Charlize’s accident. Facts that had me in tears. Facts that made me angry. Facts that I felt I should have known. Facts that are alarming to me. Facts that could have been my reality. • Drowning is the leading cause of death in ages 1-4. A child can drown in under a minute. It is incredibly quick and it is silent. • I remember at the hospital, over and over, having to tell the details of the accident. “How long was she under?” Each time, I would say, or utter really because the words were sickening coming out of my mouth. “20 seconds maybe. I’m not really sure.” To be honest I have no clue how long she was under. Long enough for her lips to turn blue. Long enough to spend the night at @radychildrens hospital because she was at risk for dry drowning. Long enough to say “My child almost drowned.” • This accident was the hardest life lesson I have experienced as a Mother. You don’t think something like this can happen to you. You take all the precautions. You’re like a hawk whenever you go anywhere with your children. You’re a good Mom. BUT Accidents happen. Tragedies happen. • My daughter is alive. I am fortunate. Other mamas, like @nicolehughes8, @audreyeatsrocks, and @morganebeck have to learn how to face the days ahead without their babies. My heart grieves with them. And while I hate that these mamas are in truly such an undeniable pain, I commend them because they are standing in strength and taking their loss and trying to reach the hearts of people to help prevent these types of accidents. I will stand with these women and do what I can to help. They are strong, they are brave, and they need our prayers. • Tune into the @todayshow today. @morganebeck and @millerbode bravely share their hearts of loss as they share their mission of water safety!!! See my stories for details!! Tee: @lovedbyhannahandeli & @themomculture #confessionsoftheanxiousmama
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Jul 30, 2018 at 11:51am PDT
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#Dear1in5, You're not Alone. I know you're in the trenches just trying to make it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. You're not alone. I know somedays you feel like you just can't do it and you want to cry. You want to cry hard. It's okay, Mama. Cry. And Cry Hard. I know you think you are failing your kids, your husband, even yourself. But, you're not failing anyone. I know public places can be overwhelming. What if you lose a child or one gets taken? What if your toddler throws a tantrum or rubs off? I have been there too. Fried, you're not alone. I know sometimes you dislike you're kids. Somedays, I dislike mine too. I know you are praying hard Mama. Keep praying. God hears you, and He hasn't forgotten you. I know that you are ashamed and feeling guilty, sometimes wondering if this is the life you were cut out for. It is okay Mama. I have those days too. You're not alone. I know it is hard to get out of bed sometimes because sleep deprivation is pure torture and it has sucked out every ounce of energy you may have in you. I know this form of exhaustion all too well Mama, especially when my babies were first born. Sometimes it turns into a depression. I know you love being a Mama, but some days are just covered in clouds. It's okay Mama. You're not alone. I know that you might be seeing a therapist, someone to talk to and help you through this season. Good for you Mama. You are not alone. I know you may need to see a Doctor, get some help, and get on some anxiety or depression meds. It's okay Mama. You need to care of yourself. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is just recognizing that you can't do it alone. Mama, sometimes you have to take the first steps to be the change you want to see. I know most days you have not a single clue what you're doing Mama. You're not alone, that is truly what Motherhood is. I know you are one in five mama. It’s okay, I am too. Live yourself a little more mama and know you’re not alone! Sincerely, I’m in the tenches too! Please continue to my brave mama friend @lizdean as she shares her letter to #dear1in5 Mama Bear Tee: @lovedbyhannahandeli #confessionsoftheanxiousmama
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Sep 13, 2018 at 12:02pm PDT
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Is it just me or does it feel like discipline is hard to talk about? There are a lot of opinions about discipline, which I think can often result in conflict and feelings of offense because maybe we do things differently. For me, in the season I am in, discipline has sucked me dry and has been one of the most exhausting parts of parenting. I think kids sometimes need to be disciplined differently, what may work for one doesn’t work for the other. Usually, Charlize will only need me to look at her while my boys will push every ounce of my being, stretching me thin. It is insanely challenging. I have been left feeling like I have no clue how to handle my kids and it only results in extreme anxiety. I have heard every single day this week “I don’t love you today.” My worth is not defined in the mean things my 3 year olds say to me, but the “I don’t love you’s” hurt. But discipline is also hard and our kids are never going to like being disciplined. Eventually, they will learn we discipline to help them grow, keep them safe, and teach them boundaries. For me, the struggle is having 3 kids the same age and me home most of the time by myself. And at this point I really feel like I need some helpful tools to reinforce good behavior. I feel humbled and humiliated all at the same time when I say, I need help. I need direction. I need wisdom. Ultimately, we are all working hard to raise good, loving, kind and respectful humans. And it is okay to talk about hard things. It’s okay to help each other even when our patenting styles are different. It’s okay to say “I don’t know what I’m doing.” It’s okay to ask for help. Today I will be having a conversation in my stories on discipline, and I would love for you to join me (even if we parent different, even if we discipline different). I hope more than anything talking about this will not be something that will bring offense to any of us because of how we handle discipline, but more so offer support, love, and advice because we all are seeking a common goal in raising good people. ❤️ • • Tee: @themomculture #confessionsoftheanxiousmama
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Sep 27, 2018 at 11:13am PDT
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I remember our first therapy session vividly. My heart was racing and my body was shaking as Ryan and I sat across from our therapist. My hands were sweaty. I sat separated from Ry and the tension between us felt so strong. We were two hurting people only hurting each other. I had so much I wanted to say to Ryan, many things that I had said to him before, but saying them in front of someone felt like they would be heard. But that day my heart ultimately exploded, literally, in the form of tears and anger. To be honest, as much as I thought the reason we were in therapy was because of Ry, I quickly realized I, also, had my own wounds that were eating away at me. It takes two people to have a marriage. And we needed a lot of healing, together and separately. We both came into our marriage with baggage, broken moments, and painful experiences that ultimately never really faced. I was thankful to finally have a third party, someone who could help guide us through our conflicts and help us communicate and hear each other. Someone who we could be vulnerable with and share hard truths with; someone who didn’t judge me, Ry, or our marriage. Someone who offered love, prayers, advice, and support. ? Our first session ended horribly. It felt like my heart hurt more when I left than when I walked in. We didn’t speak the entire drive home. It was horrible. However, healing was happening, I just didn’t see it at the time. Week after week, for two years, we faithfully went to therapy. We went together and separately and over that time we learned how to effectively communicate and hear each other. We let God do a work in our hearts and break down the walls that were holding us back in our marriage. The lack of communicating clearly and actually taking the time to listen to one another (especially if we disagreed) was something that we really struggled with. However, we learned the value in having honest conversations and communication effectively. It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s about hearing each other, loving one another, and growing together. #marriagetruths101 • Skirt/Shoes: @downeaststyle #downeaststylist
A post shared by Desiree Fortin (@theperfectmom) on Oct 9, 2018 at 11:49am PDT
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Πηγή:limeandlife.com
